


Easily parted

by allaire mikháil (allaire)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Civil War Team Iron Man, Gen, Not A Fix-It, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Team Not As Family, Tony Stark is Done with This Shit, actions have consequences
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2018-11-22 10:58:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11378799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allaire/pseuds/allaire%20mikh%C3%A1il
Summary: "A fool and his money are easily parted."





	1. Chapter 1

“Are you _sure_ you want to order from this vendor?” Vision asks.

Wanda scoffs. As if it would make a difference. “Yes. I'd like to wear my new shoes this weekend, and this site delivers them overnight.”

Vision hesitates. “I am just asking because I know they inflate their prices by at least 20% in comparison to most other sellers. I am aware that it is in bad taste to ask a woman whether or not she truly 'needs' another pair of shoes – Miss Potts has taught me that – but your income is considerably less than that of SI's CEO, so--”

“What do you mean, Vision?” Wanda interrupts. As far as she's aware, Stark pays for any and all expenses accrued by the Avengers. What is this nonsense about 'income'?

***

Natasha smiles, slow and wicked, and slides her card across the counter. Her mark, well on his way to being blackout drunk, grins back lecherously. She _hates_ the feel of his sweaty hand on her lower back.

Well, at least he'll get his comeuppance soon. She can't _wait_.

The intervening years have brought many changes – even to the famous Black Widow. These days, she has a knee-jerk aversion to flirting with human _scum_ , and even more to bedding them. Even when it's the best way to get access to someone's briefcase. She's not sure whether that's a good thing or not.

A short moment later, the hotel manager returns her card with an apologetic quirk of his mouth. “I'm afraid, Miss Rutherford, that your card has been declined. Would you like to pay with another one?”

***

The expression on Laura's face on the video call is half desperate, half furious. Her lower lip trembles. Clint doesn't know whether that makes him feel hot or guilty. Maybe both.

“They wrote they will lower our line of credit unless we pay the outstanding balance,” Laura says. “I told you the farm hasn't been making enough in the last years to keep us in the black. The economy's down. All of our neighbors are barely scraping by. Why are you so intent on ignoring reality?”

Clint scrubs his hands through his hair. Something's gone wrong. He's always given Laura full access to all his accounts. Well, at least the legal ones.

Being an agent has always paid well. Why is he suddenly on the verge of declaring bankruptcy?

***

Sam stares in disbelief at the balance displayed on the ATM screen. _That can't be right._

Blinking, however, doesn't change anything. His account still shows a four-digit number in the red.

He hurriedly presses the button that returns his card and pockets it before the machine can decide to confiscate it. He looks around quickly. At least nobody's watching.

He's promised to go bar-hopping with some old friends from his Air Force days, and had wanted to withdraw enough to be able to pay for a few rounds.

Now, though? He can't show up, broke, and sponge off his buddies. He's not a loser. He might have washed out of the EXO-7 program, but he proceeded to make something of himself. He's an _Avenger_ now. And for this? _Heads will roll_ , and that is a fucking _promise_.

***

Scott groans and interrupts the suit again. “What do you mean, 'Form 241.002' and 'Form 242.001'? Just throwing numbers at me won't make this thing end any sooner for me _or_ for you.”

The UN-sent bureaucrat sighs. After a full two hours of this, he's looking surprisingly human. Sleeves pushed back, tie askew and everything. Scott would smirk if he wasn't feeling like his head's a second away from _exploding_.

“You have to fill out a log for all the hours spent 'avenging'. That is the basis for your monthly income as well as for danger pay, overtime, comp time, vacation days, sick days--”

“That part, I get,” Scott interjects. “The UN needs documentation for everything. _Surprise_. But how do we pay for mission-critical equipment again?”

***

Stark claps his hands and exclaims: “Let's order pizza. My treat. Friday, you know what to do. My usual plus double that for Sergeant Grumpy Cat here.”

Bucky stares. “You don't have to do that, Stark.”

“Tony.”

“Tony, then. I can eat when I'm back at the Compound,” Bucky insists.

“Nonsense. You're here because of your arm, but I'd be a terrible host if I let you go hungry,” Tony continues. “I'm aware that the salaries paid to you by the UN are not exorbitant; more in line with what a Special Forces soldier or a cop makes.”

Bucky accepts with poor grace. He's aware he has a bank account with far too much money on it, but what is there to spend it on? Food and clothing? The UN pays all their professional expenses, after all.

***

Stark picks up Steve's call on the third try. Steve's fuming.

“Rogers.” Stark's voice is ice cold.

“Would you mind explaining to me why our Quinjet requires a 'Avengers Mission Number' to be logged in before the engines start?” Steve shoots back. “I promised to meet up with Sharon and some of the other Howlies' descendants in London, but apparently I'm _grounded_.”

“You're not grounded, Rogers. The Quinjet is simply not available for joyrides anymore.” Stark's smile isn't nice. “You remember your search for Barnes? The one you used my money for like it was okay to have me finance helping my parents' murderer?”

Steve gets quiet.

“I'm not your golden goose anymore, Rogers. But, see, neither is the UN your personal playground. These days, all expenses paid require documentation, and any Avenger's personal spending is now on their _own_ dime. Have a nice day."


	2. Author's Note: Help Needed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You can skip this, although I'd appreciate it if you read it and commented in case you're willing to help me create more Tony-centric goodness. *g*

This is not an update, but rather an attempt to find help with two works-in-progress of mine:

1\. **Co-author needed**  
I'm trying to write a new story for which I need a co-author or at least a very, _very_ involved beta reader. It's essentially set in an international courtroom, and while I have a bit of experience in being called as a witness, somehow what I've managed to put to paper so far is not _at all_ what I was envisioning. In short? If I don't find someone willing to collaborate with me on this, my awesome plot (if I may say so) will never see the light of day. :-(((

Or - Kizmet, if you're reading this/anyone who knows how to get in touch with them, I'm in awe of your court scene in the first installment of "Chasing Ideal". Is there any way I could interest you in co-writing this?

As a teaser, here's the summary: "At long last, what happened with the Winter Soldier has repercussions in a court of law. Steve refuses to see Hydra's Asset instead of the man. Tony just wants it all to be finally, _finally_ over. The rest of the world struggles to define the line that separates murderer from victim."

2\. **Fanartist needed**  
Not too long ago, I posted a request for a fanartist to help me with a Team Iron Man t-shirt design. That search is still ongoing. I think we all need - _deserve_ even - such a tee before "Infinity War" hits the theaters. Is anyone out there willing to help? I have a good idea of what I'd like, but my graphics skills are not up to it.


End file.
